I Sit

I sit constantly chasing a realm of ambiguities. Yet I chase it everyday in the hopes the other is reciprocating the same actions as I am, and just keeping them dormant for some unknown reason of adduce. Yes hope makes perhaps some of the heaviest armor, but it also makes for the greatest destructor of that armor. Hope in itself is a replacement for acceptance, absolution, and the outcome of consequence that has been rendered to you. Hope also though creates valor, it creates that form of denial that enables us to never to accept defeat and it creates the chance to obtain what we desire. Hope is unparalleled. It can never be justified nor can it truly be shut down. We may pretend we no longer have forms of hope, but truthfully we all hope on certain things, that may happen and may not.
I sit here constantly chasing something may never happen; I sit here constantly chasing something that I lost, I sit here trying to figure out how not to hope but to obtain. I sit here constantly with the same thing on my mind, I sit here pretending, creating a realm of illusion, a realm of escape from this everyday sanction of deception. I sit here everyday in awe and wonder to what will happen next. The best thing about all of this is that all this hope stands for only one situation, one small shard of life. Yet I sit here dwelling, and putting countless hours of thought into it. Call it my next challenge. I sit here with a challenge, it has presented itself in broad of open daylight and has challenged me to win it.
I sit here constantly in shock and awe of how stupid I am behaving. I sit here looking at the world around me and the immeasurable benevolent beauty it posses. I sit here watching the great feats of man pass before me. I sit here saying to myself that I too will add to the solution rather then take. I feel that everyone takes a certain amount from the world, it is a fact, as human beings we do take, but the amount that we can give back to the world is of uncomprehendible proportions. Gandhi once quoted “The world supplies enough for every man's need, but it will never be able to suffice for every man's greed". This is one quote that I stick to tenaciously. We as human beings never are able to accept what fortune we have in our lives, we never appreciate what we have until it has faded from us, and we never realize the natural beauty of our life until our life is almost over. So I sit here wondering why I didn’t appreciate what I had, I look back on it and wish I could have it back so I could actually appreciate it to its fullest potential.
I sit here constantly wondering where did the love go in my world. I sit here wondering how people allowed so much hate and fear to move in and replace the beauty of love. I sit here knowing that love will overcome any other emotion or thing it just needs to be found. Love in itself is perfection. True love is total and complete happiness; it is an escape from the ill manufactured world of hate and fear. No I do not believe the world was meant to be full of fear, but it has somehow happened. Yes love is still there, it will always be, we just need to find it and accept it. Love is the most comforting feeling in the world. I sit here wondering, I sit here hoping, and I sit here wishing that someday the world itself will find love again, I sit here praying that somehow that the hate, abhorrence, and malevolent force in this world will be replaced once again with justification, love, and benevolent force.