What I Know

So again here I sit contemplating that one person who i once called best friend. The one person who I thought would stand by me through most of anything. The person who I would in fact give it up for. I often believe we have moments in life we act immature over things because we are young at heart, this is definitely not one of those untrusted moments. As I’ve said it before, i have my ground set, I know where i stand as of now, and I know of true happiness, but along with that I know exactly where i am not standing, and I know of complete loss. I know of could haves, I know of sorrow, I know of pain, and I know of breakage. I know of joy, I know of memories, and I know how things will end up with my situation. No its not exactly bad, but out of all the things that I know, the could haves are the ones that tear me, drag me, and make me collapse. Yes I know more then anyone that life will go on. Life will be great. But again it is the could haves. I guess people will always say that I can do better, I will find someone better, and i will be better off. But the truth is that I was perfectly happy, it odd how fast things clicked with this individual. I could not have been happier. I will say it again, I could have not been happier. I had found an unique individual, one who would be there for me, one who was different then every other woman, one that was smart, one that beautiful, one who had the personality that if i heard them luagh I was comforted, one who i had felt safe around, one who i could truly be my complete self around, one who shared passions with me, one who i could call family, one who i would indeed give it all up for, call it perfection. I had found perfection, no not my own, i dont believe anyone can call themselves perfect all they do is berate themselves, but for us to reach out and call someone else perfect is much different. Who knows maybe I will find that someone who has also reached perfection, someone who will not crash my world. But as of now im recovering still, I know i will miss the could haves, I know I will miss the complete happiness, and I know I will move forward, because that is all I can do about my situation.